Nicole vs. Life
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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