He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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