clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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