Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
