i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
