Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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