Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
