so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
