Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
