Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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