Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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