Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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