im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
