just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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