I CAN MOONWALK!
He kissed a someone with a penis
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
