Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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