Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
