Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
