Jerry, you need to find god
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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