If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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