All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
