cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
