paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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