Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
