So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
