did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
