Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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