I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
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I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
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HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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