Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
