I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
