Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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