he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
