...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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