she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
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Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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