Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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