I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
