kristin has been a bad kristin
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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