Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
