I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
