3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
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