we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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