So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
