i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
