I wish I could teleport
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
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I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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