I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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