i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
