I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
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