VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Randomize
