I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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