'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
