Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
