You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.