I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt