No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.