ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
