she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
