You're so nebulous sometimes
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
