I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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