Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he quoted the bible to break up with me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
