um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
